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UltraSelf II: Running My First 50k

It didn’t take as long as I thought it would in the last chapter to get to my first 50k (31 miles)- I ran one yesterday. Originally, my plan was to do a week of 10 miles every day, but that ended up being unrealistic. For me to run 10 miles on a work night means I’d be going to bed late every single day, and that’s a quality-of-life hit I’m not willing to take. On the bright side, I’m moving from Reno to Raleigh in a little over a week, so I’ll be free from Tesla’s 12 hour shifts and will have significantly more time (or at least a more flexible schedule) to train.

UltraSelf, Ch. I: From Zero To Marathon in Four Months

At long last, I’m back with another blog series, so this is technically a continuation of In The Desert, FasterSelf, and The Carnivore Challenge (meaning you should probably read those). I love doing these because they’re way easier to write and I can make them significantly funnier than abstract philosophy stuff, though not for lack of trying. On this episode of “Garrett does things sane people don’t do,” I have decided to become an ultrarunner- here’s how I went from not running at all to running a marathon in just about four months.

September 20, 2018

The Ground Beef Diet (Carnivore Challenge, Ch. IX)

Hello again, friends! The time has finally come- my 30 Day Carnivore Challenge has ended. However, that does not mean that I will stop eating zero carb. On the contrary, as of right now I have no plans to change my (primarily ground beef) diet. This way of eating has been one of the most dramatically different experiences I’ve ever had, and I once went 40 days on just water for comparison. Carnivore seems to provide nearly all the benefits of fasting with the added bonus of getting to eat food- go figure.

September 12, 2018

The Meat Only Meal Plan (Carnivore Challenge, Ch. VIII)

Hello again, friends! As of the time of my writing this, I have three days left in my 30 Day Challenge- the home stretch is here. Truthfully, it hasn’t been very much of a challenge. I really enjoy this way of eating, and I will certainly be continuing it. I’ve totally adopted the meat only meal plan. On top of that, I don’t know how I could go back to the standard American diet, having learned what I have about the dangers of carbs and sugars. Like I said at the start of this experiment, I was essentially sold from the jump, and looking back, I feel the same way.

September 6, 2018

30 Day Carnivore Challenge (Ch. VII)

Hello again, friends! I’m now three weeks into proper carnivore- meaning this week is the home stretch for my 30 Day Carnivore Challenge. I have to say, I don’t see myself going back to eating the way I used to after this. There’s something incredibly convenient about being able to cook one’s whole meal in a few minutes in one pan (whether that’s burgers, steak, bacon, or eggs). It certainly saves me a huge amount of time on both cooking and dishes, and I rarely have to think about meal plans- with the exception of eating out.

August 30, 2018

All Meat Diet: Feast and Festival (Carnivore Challenge, Ch. VI)

Hello again, friends! It’s now been two weeks of the real-deal carnivore, zero carb, all meat diet, and things go well. Well, actually, I did cheat a tiny little bit- I went to a festival over the weekend and one of the friends I went with brought pork belly. Now, I had never had it before- believe it or not. It’s fantastic, and I highly recommend it- like super bacon on steroids, but not the actual bacon steroids, the metaphorical kind.

August 23, 2018

Zero Carb Diet (For Real This Time) - Carnivore Challenge, Ch. V

Hello again, friends! It’s been a week of good old, proper, no-hidden-Starbucks-carbs Carnivore (aka the Zero Carb Diet), and I’m feeling even better than I was before.

August 16, 2018

The Ethics of Eating Meat (Carnivore Challenge, Ch. IV)

This week I’m going to discuss the ethics of eating meat. There are many people who believe that killing animals and eating meat is unethical, so without further ado, let’s get into the meat (sorry, not sorry) of this contentious issue.

The Carnivore Diet, Cain, Abel, and JBP (Carnivore Challenge, Ch. III)

Hello again, friends, it has now been two weeks of meat on the Carnivore diet- halfway there. I don’t have too terribly much to report this time (still feeling great, getting up early, and full of energy), so this week I figured I would talk about something that’s been stuck in my head since last week.

The Carnivore Challenge, Ch. II: A Week of Zero Carb

It has now been a week of the zero carb Carnivore Challenge for me- and I’m loving it. So far, I’ve been getting up early every day (to cook steaks or bacon and eggs), I’ve had more energy throughout the day, and my mood has improved significantly. Somehow, a perfectly uneventful week at work ended up being one of the best weeks I’ve had in a long time- and I’m certain that zero carb carnivory is the reason why.

The Carnivore Challenge, I: 30 Days of Meat

For many years, Man has searched for the ideal diet. Some have tried only eating fruit. Others believed that vegetables were the way to go. However, there exist a select few who choose to stand alone, going against the grain(s)- we call these loose cannons who live on the edge of society: carnivore.

FasterSelf, VII: The After Fast

As I write this, it’s been a week since I broke my fast (with apple juice and watermelon.) I was afraid that the fast may not have been what was causing me to feel so sluggish, but it seems that it was. While the first day of breaking a fast sucks a lot, by the next day I felt perfectly fine and back to my normal levels of energy and motivation. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just the way it played out.

FasterSelf, VI: The Fate of the Fast

Today is Day 35 of the fast. For those of you who have made it this far, I appreciate your commitment. However, I have some sad news. You may remember from the first article that I linked to Dr. Jason Fung’s Golden Rule of Fasting. Well, unfortunately, it has come into play. Over the last week, I have begun to feel more and more unlike what I should be feeling like whilst fasting. I’ve been tired, I’m losing motivation, and I’ve started to notice my mood decreasing below pre-fast levels. In other words, not great.

FasterSelf, V: Fast(ing) Five

Welcome back to another edition of FasterSelf. As I write this, I’m on day 28 of my fast- it’s been a whole February since I started. I won’t lie to you, dear reader, I am currently drinking one of these damnable sparkling waters again. I know, I know, I should be ashamed of myself, and I would be, if they weren’t so good. Sue me.

FasterSelf, IV: Fast(ing) and Furious

At the time of writing this episode, I am on the 21st day of my fast. Currently, I’m celebrating having hit the 20-day mark by enjoying a San Pellegrino sparkling water. While I don’t normally enjoy these hipsteresqe beverages, this is a pleasant change from my daily cup of saltwater and the endless quantities of distilled water that I’ve been drinking. As such, I’ll put away my pride for the next 16.9 ounces and enjoy this overpriced bottle of pretension as discreetly as I can by the window of this Starbucks.

FasterSelf, III: 3 Fast(ing) 5 Furious

As I write this, I have been fasting for exactly two weeks. Last week I wasn’t off to the greatest of starts- I had some pretty significant abdominal cramping and an upset stomach, but it turned out that that was easily fixed by switching to room temperature distilled water.

FasterSelf, II: Keto-kyo Drift

As of the time of writing this, it is Saturday, March 31- day seven of my fast.The best part about finishing this week is that the worst part is over. From here on out, it will get progressively easier for the next two weeks, assuming that my experience mirrors that of my first fast. We shall see.

FasterSelf, I: The Fasting and The Furious

If you were expecting an article about how to run faster, you’re out of luck. Go for a run. If you were expecting an article about The Fast and the Furious, well, stick around. At the very least, I’m going to make some (by some I mean as many as humanly possible) F&F puns. If you don’t like the sound of that, you’re out of luck. Go for a run… in the rain- because puns are great. If, on the other hand, you somehow guessed that this was the beginning of a series about fasting- damn, you’re good. Give yourself a pat on the back, you majestic beast, you.

December 22, 2017

In the Desert, Ch. V

It’s been a while since I wrote Ch. IV, I know. I’m sorry, you deserve better. There is a good reason for that however- I am no longer in the desert. Okay, come on. Try not to gasp like that, it’s unbecoming.*Cue flashback music and fade effect.*

November 30, 2017

In The Desert, Ch. IV

When I last left off, I was trying to figure out how to get to Las Vegas with a comically small amount of money. Fortunately, my wonderful aunt sent me a very thoughtful card with a very practical amount of gas money in it, because she’s a saint. With nothing holding me back, I was ready to head south Tuesday after work. It’s about a six-and-a-half hour drive from my hill to the house of my cousins in Henderson, NV, so after a stop for gas I hit the road.

November 18, 2017

In The Desert, Ch. III

After I finished writing last week, I went to Lowes for two reasons. The first is that it was the only place that was open at 8:00 in the morning on a Thursday. The second was in order to find a shovel. I was down to about $40 at this point, but after the events of the night before, I figured a $5 shovel would be a worthy investment, if only for my sanity.

November 9, 2017

In The Desert, Ch. II

When I last left off, I had just started orientation for Tesla. Due to certain confidentiality agreements, I have to be very careful about what I tell you. That being said, this is what you need to know:

November 6, 2017

In The Desert, Ch. I

I recently moved to Reno, Nevada to start working at the Tesla Gigafactory (it’s worth a Google.) It was a seventeen hour drive from where I had been living in Pueblo, Colorado, although it didn’t feel that long. On the way, I passed through Salt Lake City and learned that there is, in fact, a lake there. I don’t know, I had always thought that it was just salt. Go figure.